In my work as a life coach, I deal with a lot of issues involving emotions such as repressed anger, melancholy, stress, and marital breakups or infertile couples. However, recently I encountered a profoundly moving case that evoked strong emotions and deep contemplation.
This session was special for me, as I was not emotionally ready for such an interaction. Richa (name changed) is employed as a maid for my sister. She recently lost her teenage daughter, who tragically took her own life, for reasons best known to the departed young soul.
Devastated to the core, Richa, who has been searching for answers, feels empty, like a living body devoid of emotions. The loss is truly catastrophic and completely unacceptable. A young, energetic daughter with goals, an uncharted career, and much more to herself made a terrible decision. Perhaps she did so out of pure fear and extreme stress, but the mother was left forever shattered and without hope! During my conversation with Richa, I encouraged her to open up and share her innermost thoughts and emotions, including anger, sadness, or the need to cry.
Understanding a Mother’s Grief
Richa expressed the immense difficulty of managing her grief, as memories continue to resurface and intensify her pain. “How could I not see what prompted her to take such a step, as a mother? If only I had been more watchful and noticed the signs of caution. How did I allow this to happen to my child? How could I fail as a mother? These thoughts continue to weigh heavily on Richa’s mind. Every night, she dreams of her daughter, convinced that the absence of these dreams signifies a lack of love or permanent separation.
As a parent, it is extremely challenging to cope with the devastating loss of a child. However, finding a way to continue living and moving forward is important. After a long discussion, I could make Richa believe that memories can be beautiful, only she needs to remember the good ones, bless her daughter every day and accept that she has moved on to a parallel universe and maybe she is at her happy place.
Richa has been making genuine efforts to heed my advice and is successfully dealing with the loss.
Coping With Loss: What Could Have Helped
Could this tragedy have been prevented? Possibly Yes!
Maintain parenthood and friendship with your child. When times are tough, youngsters need to talk to their parents, and we need to listen, soothe, and support them. Friends may help, but a parent’s role is irreplaceable!